Dumb Criminals

These are real life stories of dumb criminals in the news.

Animal Lover

You have to admire this guy for his compassion for stray animals, but…

He finds a stray Rottweiler and wants to take it to an animal shelter, but he doesn’t know where it is. So, he stops at the police station to ask directions. They end up arresting him. Why? He reeked of alcohol. They tested him and found that his blood alcohol level was 0.17, over twice the legal limit.

The officers took the dog to the shelter.

No Speed Runner

The police responded to a report of a man stealing a bicycle from a store. They caught up with him at an in-city train station. When he saw them, he abandoned the bike, jumped off the platform and ran down the tracks - quite slowly.

When the police caught up with him they learned why he was so slow. He had a bolt cutter under his coat along with various and sundry tools stashed in his pockets. But the most notable thing was that he had $61 in quarters in his pockets, also. He had broken into a newspaper stand and taken all the change.

You'll Never Catch Me

A man fled from the police when they tried to stop him for a traffic violation. He was chased through several communities with speeds reaching 90 mph. Finally the driver and his passenger both bolted from the car and climbed over a fence - into the yard of a women's prison.

They were arrested.

To Go, Please

These two guys must have thought they were being efficient. They planned to rob a bank, so they called ahead and told the bank to put some money in a bag because they were on their way to rob them.

The police were there to meet them when they arrived.

He'll Never Make a Good Crook

A 21 year old man went into a convenience store, told the clerk that he had a gun and demanded $200 cash. The clerk responded with, "Let me call my wife."

At that, the would-be robber turned and ran from the store. He was later caught and charged with two counts of petty larceny. He didn't really have a gun.

Too Generous

Police in Malaysia arrested a man from Lebanon after he tipped a hotel housekeeper with a US $500 bill. When the housekeeper tried to convert the bill to local currency at a money changer, she was told that it was counterfeit. The US discontinued circulation of the $500 bill in 1969.

When the police searched the crook’s hotel room they found $66 million in fake bills. He had $500, $100,000 and even $1,000,000 notes. The US treasury has never printed $1,000,000 notes.

If convicted, he’s headed to prison for 10 years.

Busted

Police in Altoona , Pennsylvania had an easy time finding the guy who threw a brick through the window of a convenience store and robbed it. All they had to do was follow the footprints in the snow to find the suspect. He claimed he was home asleep, but his sneakers were wet and he had two pairs of wet pants in his room.

Darn

A would be thief broke into a tavern with a bag of tools which he brought to break open the safe and steal the gambling proceeds from that night. He wore a face mask and gloves to hide his identity.

After working for an hour in a small storage room, hot and frustrated, he gave up. Removing his mask and gloves, he looked around. That's when he spotted it. The security camera which had recorded his every move.

The police posted the video on Facebook. Didn't take long to find him and arrest him.

We've Been Robbed

A couple called the police to report they had been robbed. When the police arrived at their apartment, the couple told them that the thieves had stolen their marijuana. Hmmm. While they were in the apartment, one of the crooks accidentally fired his gun, which spooked the others. They ran out, dropping the marijuana on the way to their car.

The police found more marijuana inside the apartment and arrested the couple.

What Were You Thinking?

A man was overheard in the men's restroom talking on his cell phone trying to arrange a drug deal. He sounded desperate to get rid of some Oxycodone and other drugs. The real problem was that the two men who overheard him were plain clothes policemen. Not only that, they were in the restroom inside the police station.

Confused

This dumb criminal pulled a gun and demanded money from the bank teller. Only problem is that it wasn't a bank. Well, it used to be a bank, but the guy didn't know that. It's now the Water District office. He left without any money.

Goofed On That One

After breaking into a house, this dumb criminal dropped his cell phone on the ground below the window he broke to get in. Well, maybe that part's not so dumb. But the "smart" police called people on the phone's contact list and asked them to have the owner call them back so they could return the phone. He did. But when he met them, he not only didn't get his phone back, he was arrested for breaking and entering.

Did You Really Think You Could Get Away With It?

A bank error moved the decimal point and changed a $1,892 deposit into $189,200. Thinking they had some free money, the couple withdrew it all, quit their jobs and moved south. They were in the process of buying a house when the mistake was traced to them. They're now in jail.

Hold the Line

A man call 911 to report that two guys with guns were watching him. He hung up so the dispatcher called him back. The man answered and told the dispatcher to hold on. But the dispatcher could hear the conversation. The man was in the middle of making a drug deal, so, of course, he didn't want to be interrupted.

The dispatcher called the police who found the man at the location he gave with drugs in his trousers.

Double Life

A woman who begged from a wheel chair was caught running from a crime scene on foot. She and her husband apparently planned to rob a furniture store. They threw a rock through the window, but ran off when they were spotted.

The police arrested them when they returned for the wheelchair.

Did You Forget Something?

A man robbed a gas station and took off in his car. Police were called. As they were looking for the robber, a newspaper carrier told them that a man fitting the description of the robber had run out of gas nearby. Guess he'd forgotten to fill up.

Police found the man and arrested him.

Don’t Litter

Police responding to a robbery at a house found a trail of Reece's Peanut Butter Cups in the back yard. In looking around the neighborhood, they found another wrapper on the front porch of a nearby house. They knocked on the door and found five teenagers inside who confessed to the crime.

What Are the Chances?

A police officer returning home after his shift noticed a man driving 30 mph in a 50 mph zone. He followed the car which pulled into a driveway, entered the garage and parked.

The officer got out of his patrol car, walked up to the man and asked him what he was doing. The man said he lived there. The officer then informed the man that it was his house and arrested him.

Say What?

Police identified a suspect wanted for a store robbery. They then learned that the man was scheduled to take the police department entrance exam the next week. When he arrived to take the test, he was arrested. He asked if he would still be able to take the test.

You Want To Work Here, Too?

A man stuffed a pair of jeans and a shirt under his clothes, then went to the check out counter to apply for a job. When he left through the door, the clothes set off an alarm. The man ran off.

But the police had no trouble finding him because he put his actual address on the application. He was ironing the jeans when they arrived.

Should Have Paid Attention in History Class

Three teenagers robbed a safe which belonged to one of their parents. It contained antique money. They stole a car and headed south. Twelve hundred miles later when they thought they'd be safe, they went into a bank and asked to change a $1,000 bill.

The only problem was that the US Treasury stopped printing $1,000 bills in 1945. The bank called the police and they boys were arrested.

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